sweet & cloudy....

ever wake up and think "today will be a good day!"

and then your little man does something amazingly sweet like...
MAKE YOUR BED!

that happened at our house this morning. he was so proud of himself! and it was the sweetest thing anyone has done for me in a long time!

right now i'm trying to cling to that moment. the rest of the day has not progressed with such loving sweet moments. i'll spare you the details... as i'm still trying to sort through them in my own head. as a social worker, i have this need for process. i need to think things through, figure them out, replay the events, recap, sequence, and over anyalyze... both good & bad things.

but my good day turned cloudy. his sweet moment this morning is clouded by some not so good choices he made this morning. our children's every move are a direct result of things we teach them. but some things are beyond our control, right? some times you find yourself standing there, scratching your head , banging your head thinking...
what in the world were they thinking?
where did they learn this from?
how do i teach them better?
where did i go wrong here?

but... some things are beyond our control, right?

parenting is way harder than i ever dreamed it would be.
so... for a little while i'm going stop thinking about this mornings events and remember  my sweet little boy. the moment he made my bed, the amazing empathy he has for others, his perfect hugs & kisses, the way he checks on his brother when he falls or gets hurt, the way he likes to put the trash bag in the can for me just to help me out, how he helped a friend last week who was scared and stuck in a play structure, how he lives life at 150% ...the good and the bad. if he wants to love you... its deeply. if he wants to play with you... its wild and crazy. if he is going to read a book... its so quiet you could here a pin drop. lego play... he gets lost for hours. if he is mad... he is intense. if he is sad, he is so sad my heart aches for him. he wears his emotions on his sleeve. which is why sometimes, at that speed, you just make a bad choice from time to time.

i guess... i have to learn to slow him down a bit! stop. and think.

this is all normal... right?
oh... i wish it were just easier!

and just because... i love him!

what a goose posing in the marsh at the beach!

i love this photo. everything about it. it captures who he is. running... like a mad man. up the jetti. giving him mom & dad a heart attack! but having SO much fun!

my big guy... sound asleep! a sleeping boy is the best kind, right!!!!
and i love this new 'no shirt' thing. so big!