Wednesday, January 19, 2011

big day

i have nothing important to write.
some random thoughts and pictures to share. 
i am hoping, not promising, but hoping to get back to some goal oriented things in the upcoming weeks here on this blog! 
just hoping though! 

today was a big day. 
hopefully the beginning of the end. for over 3 years now we have battled with what i begrudgingly refer to as the "mystery cough" of my little man's. 
for almost 3 years straight his team of doctors insisted on treating him for asthma. 
for 3 years straight i continued to say "he doesn't respond to inhalers. i do not think this is in his lungs. it is in his nose". 
for 3 straight years doctors insisted he had asthma or reactive airway disease.
for 3 straight years they insisted i give my child a plethora of drugs to address his 'asthma'. when i say that i have a pharmacy in my medicine cabinet. this is no joke. 
you know, doctors are always right. at least this is typically my philosophy. i trusted his doctors. i began to feel literally INSANE. i posted here about it. i heard his cough begin and i shuttered at the mere thought of sleepless nights, his cough to puke response, and the emotional exhaustion that would set in feeling completely and utterly helpless to my baby as he lay on the bathroom floor, asking for a steamy shower and apologizing for throwing up on his bed at 2 am, as we clean vomit and call the dr's. over and over and over and over. 
and over. 
i finally made the decision to change pediatrian's and voila... life has changed.
she has completely rocked our world. i could write a book about our experiences, both good and bad, to date regarding this. 
i will fast forward to the good stuff though... our new pediatrician, dr elin cohen, sent us to get a second opinion from a new pulmonologist. we met dr kayani and he believed me. he listened to me. the MOTHER. it was amazing. i cried. good tears this time... not the kind of tears i cried leaving other dr offices. he said that first day he was pretty sure he knew what it was but wanted to rule out a few other things first because his hypothesis required a blood test that none of us felt my little man would sit through. but quickly we got that test {he sat through it} and dr kayani was RIGHT! 
jack has a bacteria in his body that prohibits him from fighting off sinus infections {he was recently diagnosised with chronic sinusitic... NOT ASTHMA!} it is called streptococcus pneumoniae. so today he got his vaccine that will hopefully be the answer to our prayers! 

adios "mystery cough". i will not miss you. you were not invited. i loathe you quite frankly. you have tortured my baby and myself and family for moving on 4 years plus now. you have ruined vacations and made my little man cranky and tired ... and me too! you have resulted in him having to be poked and prodded and tested and treated for things unnecessarily...  you have caused stress and fears. do not come back. 

picture 19 for project 365.
the vaccine!

wow. my post DID have a purpose after all. 
you sit down to write and suddenly you feel better!
here are a few pictures of life around here lately. 
apparently connecticut is the new north pole. 
jack in our driveway.
i have never seen so much snow in my life! it came up to his hips. almost impossible to play in.

this is my front steps. 
you can not see them. i am pretty sure we will not have access to them until approximately april or may?!

my rosey cheeked main man. 
he plays hard. hence the snow-filled hat, red cheeks, and jacket covered in snow.

nothing better than neighborhood friends... they made a "quarry" that was full of tunnels out of the snow mounds from the snow plows.

our street.
so peaceful & serene. 

he eats snow.
a LOT of it.
do you think that is bad?

our neighbor julia {sammy's love} jumping off snow mounds

monkey see monkey do!

here is to spring! 

Monday, January 10, 2011

365... but not so much with the day to day

so, does it count if my 365 pictures don't get posted every single day but i update as i have time?

hope so! 
i am enjoying my challenge. it has forced me to be creative already 10 days in. 
i really need to get my act together and take a few online courses to master my new baby {camera that is}

day 4.
this is what my house looks like at dinner time with three kids!

day 5.
the view from our room at our stratton, vt gettaway with our bff's. sans kids. enough said!

day 6. 
hot tub after skiing.

day 7.
my loves.

day 8.
note "mr. bear" in the extra booster seat. he is a bear that gets to go home with each child, and keeps a journal of what he does the entire time he is with you. jack was the LAST kid to get him. it killed him to wait! and while 'mr bear' is super cute in theory... and even how much each kid glows as they march out of school with 'mr. bear' under arm and his giant back-kack {as jack says} on their backs weighing them down. 
i... well... i find him really icky. full of germs, dust, & mold. 
am i a bad mom?
i am going to say no because several other mom's confessed the same feelings. and apparently i'm not the only loon who did 'mr. bear's' laundry. he he!

day 9.
ok- i confess. i forgot today. so i was gonna "fake it" tomorow. but that is breaking the rules. so... i looked up and saw this... my glass of wine, my cell phone & the baby monitor. very important things because
1. sam is very sick and the monitor is needed
2. my phone is sitting there waiting for the dr to respond to me regarding aforementioned #1.
3. the wine is to ease the blow of the fact that one of my kids is sick ... again!
{i think my narrative is better than the photo}
and ps- i HATE taking pictures at night. i like natural light! but this was taken without a flash... which is one of the many reasons i heart my new camera!
day 10.
my little man hard at work.

i have nothing else important to ad today. 
my littlest man is sick. im tired. i don't do well without a full nights sleep... have i mentioned that before? 

sweet dreams! 

Monday, January 3, 2011

i will...

i will not make a resolution. 
{although, proudly, last years resolution was met!}

quite frankly, i would prefer to think of them as goals. 
the end of the year is a natural time to reflect & contemplate.
accomplishments, defeats, good times & bad, things that made you laugh & cry. worry & rejoice. 

2010 has been... well, the worst year of my life. 
i can honestly say, there is not one year in my life that the combination of events would lead me to say these words... "this was the worst year of my life". 

but it is true. 

having said that. i feel blessed. i feel, i don't know, maybe mature, in being able to say those words without nearing a nervous breakdown. in a brief nutshell, my baby had surgery {just for tubes in his ears- but scary either way}, my brother had melanoma 3 times removed, my godson fought for his life at 9 months old- it was the scariest few days and weeks i ever experienced, my son battled a chronic cough for going on 4 years prompting us to change pediatricians and pulmonologists. i attended the funeral of a 2 year old baby. and as if all these things were not stressful enough, on top of other day to day life stresses... my dad died suddenly. these are the things i remember the most out of 2010. 

but... my brother survived cancer multiple times. 
my son got tubes and can now hear and is no longer in pain.
my godson survived not only his initial surgery, but the emergency second surgery and fought off the terrible life threatening infection he had!
and on the very last day of this year the new team of dr's think they finally have discovered the problem for the mystery chronic cough. 

so i can see i am blessed. there were good outcomes. i keep my eye on the silver lining. the small things in life that i treasure and value. 
my boys. my family. my friends. this past year has opened my eyes to those who rise to the occasion. and...well... those who did not! 

i have goals for 2011. not a resolution. because there is always 2012 *God willing*! 
i'll spare you the mundane 'goals' of get healthy, be a better mommy/wife/friend/etc... 

but in an effort to learn from this past horrible year... which has mainly taught me life is short and to treasure the small moments. and how important taking photos of the ones you love is- as in a blink of an eye those around you could be gone and all you have left is the pictures in your hands and the memories in your heart. 
so.... i woke up on 1/1/11 and decided i am taking on the task of a year in photos. 
365 pictures. one a day. for a year! 
my goal is that this project *goal* will remind me to embrace the small things. revel in a smile. capture a mannerism of my littles. document our year. 

so ... on january 3 (362 days to go)... here are the first 3! 

day one.
sledding with daddy.

day two.
yummy salad {tuna, lettuce, onion, apple, cranberry, oil, & cider vinegar} 
this represents my strive to eat healthy after 2 solid months of emotional eating.

day three.
first day of karate. he broke a board with his fist! 
i cried.

here is to kicking 2010 to the curb!
bring it on 2011, i am ready for ya!
stay tuned!