Tuesday, August 31, 2010

i think in blog...

do you other bloggers think in blog? 
you know, your experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc... think about how they could be a post? 

i do. 

but lately i'm all over the place. i feel very overwhelmed... and insecure. lots of moving parts in life. i haven't had time to compile my thoughts and blog. i wish i had more time!

i am so very blessed in life.
the bigger picture.
i have healthy children. a wonderful family and amazing circle of friends. 
but the day to day, minutia details of life has gotten me a tad bit overwhelmed these days. the tiny things that happen every day that ad up to a much bigger picture. it will all fall into place. this im sure of. 

i saw a post at at this blog recently that stuck with me tremendously. 

"comparison is the joy thief".

i love everything that means. every way you analyze that statement. all that it stands for and could mean. 
i love it.

on another note... here are some pictures of the memories we have been making these last few days of summer {for which that i am grateful for... i am so ready for fall. Fall Robyn is ready!}

we celebrated my god-twins first birthday! i can not believe they are one! they have taught me that life is short {read there story through that link}. 
life is precious. 
and that you should thank God for your blessings each & every single day!

macy girl enjoying her pink cupcake!

happy birthday babies!

jack and his buddie blake at the super duper weenie truck!

if you do not know what the super duper weenie truck or restaurant is. 
you should look it up.
it is SO cool! so american!
and nothing makes it more fun than the ice cream man!

and my husband... getting in touch with his inner child! 
it was great! his giggle every single time {which was about seriously close to 100 times that day/night} he hit the bottom was priceless!

and mister nathan enjoying his cupcake!

we also took a morning bike ride to the beach up the street.
surprisingly we have not ever done this. it was one of my favorite family moments this summer. just the four of us. together. having fun!

"keep off"
my boys listen well!

we flew a kite! i think that was on our summer to do list! 

which reminds me... i have a few left to check off. better get a move on it!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

sweet & cloudy....

ever wake up and think "today will be a good day!"

and then your little man does something amazingly sweet like...

that happened at our house this morning. he was so proud of himself! and it was the sweetest thing anyone has done for me in a long time!

right now i'm trying to cling to that moment. the rest of the day has not progressed with such loving sweet moments. i'll spare you the details... as i'm still trying to sort through them in my own head. as a social worker, i have this need for process. i need to think things through, figure them out, replay the events, recap, sequence, and over anyalyze... both good & bad things.

but my good day turned cloudy. his sweet moment this morning is clouded by some not so good choices he made this morning. our children's every move are a direct result of things we teach them. but some things are beyond our control, right? some times you find yourself standing there, scratching your head , banging your head thinking...
what in the world were they thinking?
where did they learn this from?
how do i teach them better?
where did i go wrong here?

but... some things are beyond our control, right?

parenting is way harder than i ever dreamed it would be.
so... for a little while i'm going stop thinking about this mornings events and remember  my sweet little boy. the moment he made my bed, the amazing empathy he has for others, his perfect hugs & kisses, the way he checks on his brother when he falls or gets hurt, the way he likes to put the trash bag in the can for me just to help me out, how he helped a friend last week who was scared and stuck in a play structure, how he lives life at 150% ...the good and the bad. if he wants to love you... its deeply. if he wants to play with you... its wild and crazy. if he is going to read a book... its so quiet you could here a pin drop. lego play... he gets lost for hours. if he is mad... he is intense. if he is sad, he is so sad my heart aches for him. he wears his emotions on his sleeve. which is why sometimes, at that speed, you just make a bad choice from time to time.

i guess... i have to learn to slow him down a bit! stop. and think.

this is all normal... right?
oh... i wish it were just easier!

and just because... i love him!
what a goose posing in the marsh at the beach!
i love this photo. everything about it. it captures who he is. running... like a mad man. up the jetti. giving him mom & dad a heart attack! but having SO much fun!

my big guy... sound asleep! a sleeping boy is the best kind, right!!!!
and i love this new 'no shirt' thing. so big!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

homemade popsicles!

this past week we did some "summer" baking.
which means we didn't really bake!
but we made!

and this went great with this week's you capture theme
"in the kitchen"


i found the recipe in some cooking light magazine i had.
{kudoos to me for actually using my cooking magazines lately!!!}

i love letting the kids eat them!
and i love eating them too!

in a nutshell:
fresh strawberrys pureed with simple syrup {equal parts sugar/water boiled until sugar is disolved}
and then some yogurt (we used stoneyfield ba-nilla}
then i added a banana to what was left of the strawberry's for the top portion.

as i layered, i added a few diced strawberrys after the first layer.
and then some semi-sweet chocolate chips on top of the yogurt as a special surprise!
and you wait...

i will note that the longer you freeze them the better they were.
we tried to eat them the first night and they were too soft.

they were super yummy!
and a healthiER option for dessert.

i can't say i don't like seeing the kids faces as they see our homemade popsicles!

this little guy is my new favorite little.
he is quite possibly the sweetest little man on earth!

it makes me feel like im doing a good job at this whole mom thing when i do something like this every once in a while.
especially since, today alone, i'm pretty sure jack told me he didn't love me about...
50 million times.

i know it is just words.
but to be clear, i have this horrendous stomach bug for going on 20 days now
{e.coli actually... WHO GET'S THAT!?!?!?!}
and my hard working husband worked a ton last week and had his annual fishing trip with the guys this past weekend.
terrible timing.
and i decided it is time to move 'mister trouble' to one nap a day.
{as mentioned a trillion other times on this blog. change and i... not so much!}

so i'm all done.
patience is gone.
and i just want to curl up on the couch and nap all day and mend my body!

but my homemade popsicles... made me feel better for a moment!
even if while doing them these two monkey's stood there chomping at the bit and driving me crazy  being really helpful and sweet!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

every day

you capture this week...
very late...
"every day things".

so here is a peek at a few everyday things in our lives.
if i had been feeling better
i would have taken a lot more and been more creative.
but that darn e.coli has gotten me downnnn!

suddenly they play.
and reading is the fun thing of the week to do! 
i adore catching them like this... when there is not an audience.
it happens because they are having fun!

i soak these moments up with every ounce of my soul. 
THIS is what it is all about. 
having more than one child. seeing my children be brothers! 

hide & seek. 
all. the. time. 
and he is good!

i eat my meals with lego creations!

and buzz lightyear & woody somehow made an appearance on my phone!
and my phone is definitely part of my every day life... im addicted to her!

this little tantrum...
i see this way more than i'd like these days!

and he tends to stand UNDER my toes. 
its infuriating. 

and "pruney toes" are the best part of our summer fun days!

that is a lazy look into everyday life at our house!
go check out the other entries at i should be folding laundry!

Thursday, August 12, 2010


a friend of mine, with school aged children, recommended this article to me.

go read it.
take some time and go through it.
its long, a smidge wordy, but VERY powerful.

i have been following this motto this summer,
it is all in your expectation.

while it may sound... rather "debbie downer", it works for me. i'm by no means saying i expect the worst. but im trying to be a realist. it's a change for me. but i tend to be a moaner & groaner. and i hate that about myself. and with this new found "realistic expectation" thing... it has been eye opening. and has produced a lot of happy moments for us! in a recent family excursion i was very real about the minimal sleep i would have, the challenges of being in close quarters with family for a few days and all the personalities that come with that, and prepared myself for my kids to be pills. it was a  perfect time. perfect because i was mentally prepared... realistically appropriate. i wasn't mad when my son squawked at 5:45 am. i wasn't mad when things didn't go perfectly as planned. we had a blast!

on a broader spectrum... i had a very hard time when my first son was born, adjusting to parenthood and all its ups and downs. i had a very very very hard time when number two arrived. it is fair to say i don't do well with change.

i had visions of parenthood and motherhood {because the two are separate but coexist} that were wildly unrealistic. visions of perfect angels. i didn't think id mind being up all night, because it was to nurture my perfect angel. i had visions of nursing my perfect angel for a a year, just as the books said. i had visions of my husband and our perfect angel being this happy little family. this was all very far from the reality of our expanding family. well my visions were all very far from reality. yes... things were amazing and blissful. but with that bliss came a lot of obstacles and challenges to conquer as well! that i was not prepared for.

my world shook.

like an earth quake came and rocked me.
i still feel big trembles.
the aftershocks hit us still.
some harder than others!

i never anticipated the angst, worry, sleepless states i would be in, the stress it provided to our lives, and how unpredictable and challenging it was to take care of this helpless little perfect angel. 

i could go on... for a long time {oh wait, i already have!}

i adore my boys. in recent months i am trying... really hard... to focus on the small things. the joyous moments. the moment when jack says "im sorry mommy" with his head hung low after doing something he shouldn't have. with no yelling. this made me think 'he is getting so big'!
or the adorable things he says like "aminals" and "is it morning? that night went soooo fast!!!" and he lays his head on my pillow with me quietly.
or when sammy climbs up on me and just nuzzles in perfectly. or the joy of seeing my big boy....
jump off the diving board in 11 feet of water.
and swim like the next Michael Phelps to the side of the pool.
let me be clear in saying i adore my boys and my husband and our family. i would not change a thing.
 {a few photos from my little man swimming this sunday at the pool}
on your marks!

i love seeing him swim! it gives me a huge sense of pride.
its along side of walking & talking... maybe bigger!

canonnnnn balll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

except... i would have been a lot more realistic.
i would have prepared for the earthquake and all its aftershocks!

Monday, August 9, 2010


i have a few random thoughts and things to share.

first... i had a wonderful night tonight with 2 wonderful friends of mine that i used to work with.
we talked a lot
as therapists would do!
we laughed.
provided therapy... (thank you girls)!
and talked a lot {i said that... but we really talked A LOT!}

it was nice!
i needed it.
makes me really miss work.
i loved what i used to do.
i miss my crazy kids and families.
i was good at my job.
it was challenging, scary, the failure was emmense.
but the rewards... when i could help a child... or a family
that negated all the failures.
which there are lots of when your working with mentally ill children and families.
i miss it.
time to start getting back to some part time work.
the task seems daunting and wildly overwhelming.
i dread interviews... theory questions... oh god!
so so scary.
but i need it for ME!

moving on...
why did i do this to myself???

i have this theory that if you just have this stuff out
a goodies jar...
that we won't be so likely to indulge as often.

this refill i went overboard.
i got my weakness.
sugary gummy goodness.
4 hours after filling i had to move the jar!
not only is it my weakness but jack's also.

the m & m's lasted a LONG time.
not the sugary candy!

it is a good emotional filler for my thoughts and stresses of getting back into the field of working sometime soon...
{and all the other things filling my brain at the moment}

and lastly...
completely randomness.

i live by the beach.
i HATE sand everywhere.
its impossible to clean and just really messy.
i enjoy the beach.
but i really hate the mess.
which is why i always opt for the pool when possible!
it is just cleaner :)

when jack was a baby.
someone taught me the baby powder trick!
it is magic at cleaning sand off.
its amazing.
it brushes off with next to no effort.
a mom at the beach's best friend!

{i had every intention of taking a good photo of the clean feet. but my husband and cranky children were not interested in my efforts! so you'll have to trust me}

take your baby powder with you next time you plan to be sandy!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

i can see them!

so im working on one of my summer to do lists.
figuring out the blog world.
im trying to get my photos to be viewed larger.
alissa over at 33shadesofgreen, a blog i frequent, has been helping me.

so this is a test.
and just a photo i love!

{and by golly i think it worked!}
and now i am off to figure out why my camera is fighting with me and misbehaving!
thanks alissa!

"i like the things that summer brings"...

i love that book... "summer"
it is a dr seuss book ... but i don't think it is written by him.
jackabie loves it to.

and it is the theme of "you capture" this week too!
and im on time!
things are looking up!

in an effort to pull myself up by the bootstraps
im trying to embrace what is left of summer.

and the things i do enjoy...
last minute trips to dairy queen
dirty tubs at the end of the day from dirty dirty boys...
because in our house, the dirtier the boy, the funner the day {not a word right?}
bike rides
pools..i really really really love swimming.
i long for a pool... amoung many other things too... but a pool may be top five things i dream of daily!
i love visiting with friends.
road trips.
i love random (not consecutive) rainy days that force you to stay in bed and snuggle on the couch {and of course accomplish mounds of chores left undone from summering fun}
i feel like i should say i love the beach... but im not sure i do.
at least this summer, with sammy, i don't.
i'll get back to you next summer!
i love bike rides.
i love watching the boys play with the kids in the neighborhood getting lost in the deep world of imagination!
i love sun kissed skin!

i LOVE that i can walk to this from my house.
i love this harbor.
i adore it.
i love to walk there... and take in the amazing picturesque scene.
its quaint, peaceful, serene, historical, and just perfect!

and these two beauties!
my nephew and niece.
they are still babies in my head.
i used to spend ALL my spare time with them...
then i went and had children and im not so much aunt of the year anymore!
but during the summer i can spend more time with them... which i love!

during the summer we celebrate my baby's daddy's birthday!
we made this cake for him!
it was YUMMY!
i make a really really mean yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
it is only semi-home made!
but a crowd pleaser!

today was dreadfully hot and humid here.
like don't even go outside.
but al roker tells me that it will be a perfecto tomorrow and weekend!
im looking forward to it!


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

there is always one.

i am the youngest of 5 children.
and there are 9 grandchildren in my family.
my mom is versed in raising children.
to say the least!

she always says "there is one summer when they are babies that is just horrendous"

this. is. my. summer.

im trying to focus on the positive.
enjoy the milestones and memories.
make the best of it for jack...
because as luck would have it i believe this would be his BEST summer.
but sammy... to the MOON!

he is all over the place.
does not understand no.
eats inedible objects CONSTANTLY.
and is dangerous...
he just walks away.
climbs to the highest heights.
would go face first into the deep end of the pool if i didn't catch him.
or run into traffic.
we are slave to his naps which makes leaving challenging.
and for a multitude of reasons i feel tremendously guilty leaving him behind with a sitter to do fun summer things.

im tired.
i don't sit down from the moment he is out of his crib to the moment he goes to bed.
but i am trying to make the best of it.
savor it all.
but man... im ready for fall robyn!!!!!

but... we do play!
i am very late on you capture but here are my photos.
and thanks for listening to my rant!

the subject was PLAY!

here is jack and his best bud blake... they play hard!

so this is funny... this photo and the next, i played with my camera {my favorite thing to play with} and played with the self timer... we were on our way to a cocktail party and decided to stop for some photos in the harbor {GEEK ALERT} and it was a riot.
the outtakes are hilarious!

but we got some good shots with our besties.

i am desperate to figure out photos at night.
maybe my iso doesn't go up high enough?
i can't even get close!

although i do like this one of the coral and candle.
i'll continue to play with my camera til i figure it out... or get a new fancier one with higher ISO :)

jack and his buddy across the street played for hours on sunday.
its my favorite thing when they get in a groove and are just in their own world for hours.
isn't that what summer is about?
the lined the lattice on our deck with cars... aka... traffic.

it was so cute!

so hope you enjoyed....
happy summering.
happy countdown to fall!
(49 days if you were wondering)